By The LeatherWerks Daddy
Let’s be honest: some of the best conversations happen without a single word. A glance, a boot shine, a bandana in the right pocket—and suddenly you know everything you need to know.
That’s cruising.
It’s old-school, raw, and coded in desire. And at the heart of it is a secret language built by queers and kinksters who knew how to spot their tribe without outing themselves to the wrong crowd.
So let’s decode it, boy. Daddy’s got the colors memorized.
What is Cruising?
Cruising is the art of finding sex, connection, or kink partners—usually in public or semi-public places—through body language, movement, and signals. No apps, no DMs. Just instinct and intention.
You’ll find cruising in:
- Leather bars
- Bathhouses
- Parks
- Events like Folsom or IML
- Anywhere two horny people lock eyes and know what they’re doing
But back in the day—when being outed could cost you everything—cruising relied on signals, etiquette, and discretion. And that’s where flagging came in.
Flagging and the Hanky Code: Born Out of Necessity
The hanky code (also called flagging) began in the 1970s in San Francisco’s leather scene. The idea? Wear a colored handkerchief in your back pocket to signal what you were into—and whether you wanted to give or receive it.
The system spread like lube at a sling party. It was smart, sexy, and safe. And it still works today—if you know how to read it.
The Pockets: Left vs. Right
Left pocket: You’re the top, Dom, or giver.
Right pocket: You’re the bottom, sub, or receiver.
Got a red hanky in your right pocket? You’re open to being fisted.
Wearing yellow on the left? You want to piss on someone.
Simple. Deliciously efficient.
Common Colors and What They Mean
Here are just a few of the classics (Daddy knows there are many more):
| Color | Meaning |
| Red | Fisting |
| Yellow | Watersports |
| Black | Heavy S&M |
| Dark Blue | Anal sex |
| Light Blue | Oral sex |
| Grey | Bondage |
| White | Masturbation |
| Hunter Green | Daddy/boy play |
| Brown | Scat (yeah… that kind) |
| Orange | Anything goes |
Some colors are more niche (kelly green, tan, teal) and new variations keep popping up. Always clarify—unless you’re flagging orange, and you really are into anything.
Flagging Beyond Hankies
Modern flagging goes beyond bandanas. These days you might see:
- Armbands
- Shoelaces
- Keychains
- Color-coded harnesses
- Leather accessories (cuffs, collars, suspenders)
The same left/right logic often applies, especially in leather or fetish spaces. Just remember: intentionality matters. If you’re flagging it, be prepared to own it.
Cruising Etiquette
Flagging is an invitation—not a guarantee.
Do:
- Make eye contact, then give space.
- Mirror body language to show interest.
- Ask respectfully if you’re unsure.
Don’t:
- Touch without consent.
- Pressure someone based on their flag.
- Assume everyone knows the code.
Cruising is about reading the room, not just the hanky. And the best players are the ones who move with confidence and courtesy.
Final Wink from Daddy
Flagging isn’t just retro kink nostalgia—it’s queer communication, stealth brilliance, and leather heritage all rolled into one square of cloth. So if you’re gonna flag, do it right. Know what it means. Be ready to talk about it. And don’t put red on both sides unless you’ve really stretched for it.
Cruise with intention. Play with pride. And never underestimate the power of a pocket.
Glossary
- Cruising: The act of seeking casual sex or connection in public/semi-public spaces through body language or coded signals.
- Flagging: Wearing colored gear (usually hankies) to signal sexual interests and roles.
- Hanky Code: A color-coded system for flagging kinks and preferences, traditionally with handkerchiefs in back pockets.
- Left Pocket: Signifies a top/Dom/giver role.
- Right Pocket: Signifies a bottom/sub/receiver role.
- Top/Dom: The giving or dominant partner in a kink or sex dynamic.
- Bottom/Sub: The receiving or submissive partner in a kink or sex dynamic.
- Old Guard: Traditional leather culture where flagging and cruising were common.
- Armband Flagging: Wearing colored armbands (or other accessories) in place of hankies to signal kink interest.
- Etiquette: The unwritten rules of conduct in cruising or leather/kink scenes—based on respect, consent, and discretion.
