I always thought a pet would be too much responsibility for me. That was before Sparky followed me home from the bar one night. Whether I’m giving him a bath in the backyard using the garden hose, or brushing his teeth with my dick, Sparky has become my constant companion. Already he’s learned how to do tricks. He can sit (on my face), stay (hard) and speak (when spoken to). Wear this hanky on the left if you’d like to adopt a pup, or on the right if you, yourself, are free to a good home.