There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my pup, Sparky. I love it when I get home from work and he meets me at the door, wagging his tail (sold separately in our ‘butt plug’ section), sniffing my crotch and humping my leg. Sparky doesn’t have back pockets, so I put this hanky around his neck, over his collar, while I walk him down the Drive naked so he can lift his leg and pee on trees. Red flags for fisting, which goes without saying. I have to take his temperature, don’t I? So, if you’re a sick puppy in need of a kind, loving master, wear this on the right and follow me to a good home.